Fock the Koontz

mai 23, 2012

The best movie of the year made by the people who brought you Little Fockers. The experts in witty alternative spellings bring you now Fock the Koontz, where „oo” reads like in blood, get it? A hilarious family friendly adventure with five twists that leave you guessing and a surprise ending you’ll never anticipate: Little Focker’s best friend, D. Ildo, get it? actually killed himself!!!

Following the tragic death of his entire family, Little Focker is remodeling his summer cottage when a tape left by absolutely nobody reveals that his best friend was tortured and killed by a group of disgruntled Iraq war veterans who were brainwashed in a cruel and deadly government plot to transform America in a war-raging theocracy for the benefit of big military corporations. He swears revenge but first he must win a dance contest in which the participants must also be good spellers. He teams with his ex-girlfriend who is secretly a zombie vampire from the future and from another planet. To escape her dominant father and reclusive mother, they must abandon their life of luxury in suburbia and travel to Sao Paulo, Moscow, Seoul, Minsk, Beijing, Knoxville, Shanghai, Pretoria, Osaka and Hillsdale, Michigan. With everything on the line, they learn ancient martial arts and fall in love, but Little Focker does not reveal his dark secret: he is actually a robot, from the future and from another planet, whose heart used to belong to a teenage stripper killed by incompetent mobsters by mistake. In their fantastic Odyssey, they foil the killing spree of the DC Sniper, John Allen Muhammad, a White Christian fundamentalist and receive advice from the ghosts of Little Focker’s slain family. When they finally arrive at the dance competition, a stranger locks them in a basement and announces that he will slay one of them every day until either they solve Gödel’s incompleteness theorems in a novel way or make sense of the plot in Vantage Point. Nothing is what it seems in this dreadful and charming animated spy mystery featuring blood-thirsty vampires, robot monkeys, talking dogs and Bollywood dancing numbers.

Pedro Almodovar writes and directs this colorful, romantic and tragic Cannes nominated thriller which paints a bleak image of post 9/11 paranoid America. A remake of last year’s remake with the same title and screenplay, but now with a very implausible happy ending, starring Ellen Page, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Zenza Raggi, Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, Megan Fox, and Danny de Vito as Robert de Niro. Rated PG-13 for extreme gore and violence, drug use, sexually-oriented nudity, smoking, and unhealthy eating habits. In 3-D everywhere.


Guest prost de Mihai Giurgea carei ceva comediant din aia de stau in picioare

februarie 15, 2012

Sava zic si eu un banc super tare detot pe carel tot aud de cateva deceni adica de mai mult de zece ani. Si carei super tare detot si te spargi pe tine de ras cand il auzi. Puneti mana careaveti pe ceva hartie igenica sa nu ziceti ca nuvam zis.

Cica Bula se duce la moll sa cumpere de mancare. Niste ceapa niste slanina si niste paine casa manance paine cu slanina si cu ceapa. Si cand sa plateasca isi da seama ca nare bani de cat fie nu mai de slanina fie numai de paine si ceapa ca slanina era mai scumpa. Ca era din import. Siatunci cesa gandit el. Cred ca miam pierdut bani cand mam impedicat de bolovan si miau sarit din buzunar da nu din amandoua buzunarele ca doar din unu din doua. Deci 50%. Siatunci Bula sia luat numai paine cu ceapa sia mancato. Si la intrebat dupa aia nasu mare cam uitat sava spun ca Bula se ducea la ceva nunta. Nare importanta cine sensura si daca mireasa era virgina casa zic asa sau cat a fost daru. Ca era nunta dela mai pela tara unde oameni intreaba cat a fost daru si daca mireasa fost virgina. Deci il intreaba nasu mare da ai mancat paine cu slanina si cu ceapa? Si Bula zice am mancat da nu de tot de tot.

HA HA HA, mam spart de ras. Teai prins frate?

Inca un banc super tare dela Teo dela Cafe Deko

februarie 16, 2011

Teo ii tipu ala care face standup in caz ca sunteti dela tara si nu vati prins. A mai scos una super tare casa vezi cat de genial e nuca alti care se tot repeta si zic aceasi poanta unantruna.

Cum zice evreu la ca iac?
Cai ac!
Teai prins frate?

Ha ha ha!!!!! Mai tare ca Vacanta Mare, Mircea Popescu si Arsinel impreuna.

Banc super tare dela Cafe Deko

ianuarie 6, 2011

Mam spart de ras cand lam auzit pe Teo ca zis bancu asta.

Cum zic evrei la capac? Capac!


Asai ca?

octombrie 27, 2010

Daca tiai facut programare la ghicitoare si numai poti sa te duci asai ca nu mai trebuie sa o anunti?

Sondaj de opinie

septembrie 17, 2010

In cate zile credeti co sa ma baneze Mircea Popescu depe blogu lui? Ca pana acuma macar calitatea asta o are Mircea Popescu asta daca altele nare ca numa banat depe blogu lui si ma lasat sa las ce comenturi am avut eu chef. Calti casa nu dam nume ca Gramo si Tiberiu Ogasanu una doua pac cu banarea de cum leam spus ceva ce nu lea convenit. Da acuma lucrurile osa se schimbe. Deci?

a) Intrun numar de zile
b) Cinei domne Mircea Popescu ca eu nu stau prin tribunale?
c) La colectia aia tampita aia de cretinatati pretentioase ii spui tu blog?

Proverbe romanesti din popor de demult

iunie 7, 2010

1. Oridecate ori schimbi canalu la televizor cu telecomanda pe un alt canal e ceva mai bun.

2. Doi peo baba ii scot dinti.

3. Si ce daca?

4. Frere Jacua, Frere Jacua, dorme vu, ding deng dong.