Mordechai la cina

August 9, 2012

Deci merge Mordechai la cina cu fisu. Si langa ei la masa era altu din strainatate cu fisu. Si lea duce chelneru mancarea la astia. La aia din strainezia le aduce mancare straina buna. Da la Mordechai ii aduce un mare caca si le spune ca e mancare romanesca. Mordechai incepe san fulece da copilu nu.

– „Da dece nu mananci si tu, copilule?” il intreaba Mordechai.

– „Pai da tu nu vezi cai caca? Miroase ca caca, arata ca caca, atunci e caca.”

– „Pai nu poti sa spui asta ca ne distrugi imaginea tari. Ceo sa zica astia din strainatate de la masa alaturata despre noi?” zice Mordechai infulecand pe rupte. „Ca la noi mancarea e caca? Ca romani mananca caca? Nu se poate! O se ne distrugem imaginea Romaniei in strainatate! Asa ca va trebui sa mancam sa ne creada ca ce mancam noi e bun. Si sa zicem mmmm. Cu cat arata mai mult ca caca si e clar ca e caca cu atata trebuie sa mancam mai bine si mai mult casa nu stricam imaginea Romaniei in lume. Ca vorba aia daca si imaginea o stricam cu ce mai ramanem ca restu am stricat tot? Cu realitatea? Care e inca si mai naspa?”

Copilu tot nu vroia sa mancance.

– „Baga in tine” ii zice Mordechai. „Ce crezi ca alti na mancat caca? Uite de exemplu total la intamplare Antonin Scalia.”

– „Da cinei Antonin Scalia asta?” il intreaba copal

– „Da ce importanta are cinei. Important e ca si el a mancat caca. Adica asa cred eu. Nu cal stiu eu pe asta personal sau ca stiu cine e sau cu ce se ocupa. Da important e ca a mancat caca. Asa cred.”

Pofta buna, Mordechai. MMMMMM!


Fock the Koontz

Mai 23, 2012

The best movie of the year made by the people who brought you Little Fockers. The experts in witty alternative spellings bring you now Fock the Koontz, where „oo” reads like in blood, get it? A hilarious family friendly adventure with five twists that leave you guessing and a surprise ending you’ll never anticipate: Little Focker’s best friend, D. Ildo, get it? actually killed himself!!!

Following the tragic death of his entire family, Little Focker is remodeling his summer cottage when a tape left by absolutely nobody reveals that his best friend was tortured and killed by a group of disgruntled Iraq war veterans who were brainwashed in a cruel and deadly government plot to transform America in a war-raging theocracy for the benefit of big military corporations. He swears revenge but first he must win a dance contest in which the participants must also be good spellers. He teams with his ex-girlfriend who is secretly a zombie vampire from the future and from another planet. To escape her dominant father and reclusive mother, they must abandon their life of luxury in suburbia and travel to Sao Paulo, Moscow, Seoul, Minsk, Beijing, Knoxville, Shanghai, Pretoria, Osaka and Hillsdale, Michigan. With everything on the line, they learn ancient martial arts and fall in love, but Little Focker does not reveal his dark secret: he is actually a robot, from the future and from another planet, whose heart used to belong to a teenage stripper killed by incompetent mobsters by mistake. In their fantastic Odyssey, they foil the killing spree of the DC Sniper, John Allen Muhammad, a White Christian fundamentalist and receive advice from the ghosts of Little Focker’s slain family. When they finally arrive at the dance competition, a stranger locks them in a basement and announces that he will slay one of them every day until either they solve Gödel’s incompleteness theorems in a novel way or make sense of the plot in Vantage Point. Nothing is what it seems in this dreadful and charming animated spy mystery featuring blood-thirsty vampires, robot monkeys, talking dogs and Bollywood dancing numbers.

Pedro Almodovar writes and directs this colorful, romantic and tragic Cannes nominated thriller which paints a bleak image of post 9/11 paranoid America. A remake of last year’s remake with the same title and screenplay, but now with a very implausible happy ending, starring Ellen Page, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Zenza Raggi, Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, Megan Fox, and Danny de Vito as Robert de Niro. Rated PG-13 for extreme gore and violence, drug use, sexually-oriented nudity, smoking, and unhealthy eating habits. In 3-D everywhere.

Stiati ca?

Ianuarie 13, 2012

1) Daca filmu Patru nunti sio inmormantare nu avea nici o inmormantare i sar fi spus Patru nunti?

2) Daca esti femeie e destul de probabil ca si bunicata sa fi fost tot femeie.

3) Lucrun ceput optimistu il vede ca pe jumatate facut da pesimistul il vede ca pe jumatate neterminat.

Deci cum se scriie corect

Mai 5, 2011

Deci cum se zice corect: un transexual sau o transexual?

Cititori sugereaza si noi Dadatroll scrim

Decembrie 28, 2010


Stiri cu care ne mandrim

August 20, 2010

„Associated Press Television News saw at least 100 Gypsy men, women and children arrive by bus at Paris’ Charles de Gaulle airport Friday. The plane landed in Timisoara, in western Romania, late Friday afternoon with 124 Roma aboard.”

Uau in numai doua ore! Asta da performanta!

Lista de lucruri care nu pot fi trimise pe email

August 11, 2010

– Un sandvici

– Clopotei de cristal

– Unicorni rosi

– Multimi infinite

– Conturi bancare

– Conceptu de inevitabilictate

– Unicorni vargati

– Becuri aprinse sau neaprinse